The Taku Lodge Excursion

The monkey is off my back. It has taken all of 25 years, so let me say it again...the monkey is finally off my back! For some background info, I’d encourage you to click the link below and read a previous blog entitled The Great Alaska Salmon Bake.

https://www.skrivepublications.com/post/the-great-alaska-salmon-bake

Here’s a quick recap: 25 years ago, in September of 2000, my wife and I went on an Alaskan cruise with the top sales people in her company. Our best friends, Kevin and Nancy, were with us. Each person was given $300 on their shipboard accounts to help pay for shore excursions, etc. Kevin and I were in charge of booking our excursions. People on board kept talking about an excursion in Juneau that included a float plane ride over some nearby glaciers with a stop at an old hunting cabin called Taku Lodge. That’s all we heard for days! Taku Lodge! Taku Lodge! Taku Lodge! However, when we looked at the price of the excursion and saw it was $399 per person, Kevin and I nixed the idea. Come on! Were we supposed to blow our entire wad of credit on one excursion? Being the responsible, cheapskate knuckleheads that we were, we opted instead for a $35 salmon bake.

Long story short, we were driven out into the middle of the woods in a dilapidated yellow school bus. We sat under a tarp in the rain, ate some salmon and listened to a couple female folk singers called the Glacial Erratics sing songs with titles like Yukon Women, Fishing with Grandma, and On Thin Ice. That last number pretty well summed up where Kevin and I were now walking.

When we got back to the ship, our wives wouldn’t speak to us. To make it worse, the people that went to Taku Lodge wouldn’t shut up! “Oh my goodness! It was so beautiful!” said one. “The glaciers were amazing!” “We got to see a bear!” exclaimed another. (We later found out the bear had nearly eaten one of our friends who had ignored the tour guide’s warning to not feed them.) “We had the best lunch! The rosemary biscuits and ginger snap cookies were the best we’ve ever tasted!” said a third. Kevin and I looked at each other, shrugged our shoulders and said, “Whoops!” Our wives never let us forget it. They were mad at us the rest of the trip. At regular intervals for the next 25 years, they would remind us of the Taku Lodge debacle.

Fast forward 25 years. We were headed back to Alaska again. On this trip each person was given $500 on their shipboard accounts. Thanks, inflation! Once again, Juneau was one of our stops, and, once again, I was in charge of booking our excursions. “Is the Taku Lodge excursion still being offered?” Lisa asked.

“Yes, honey, Taku Lodge is one of the choices,” I said.

“I don’t care how much it costs!” she said. “We are going to Taku Lodge! Book it right now so it doesn’t fill up!”

I checked the schedule and the prices and saw that the Taku Lodge excursion now cost $589 per person. (Thanks again, inflation.) Our entire shipboard account would be wiped out and then some. I booked it anyway. I’m not a slow learner.

We docked in Juneau on a chilly morning and got dressed for our adventure. Lisa wore a fuzzy brown coat that elicited a snarky comment from one of our friends. “Hey, there’s a grizzly bear! And we didn’t even have to go into the woods!”

We disembarked the cruise ship and walked down the boardwalk toward the landing area where the float planes were moored. We had been on a float plane the week before traveling from Vancouver to Whistler, so we knew what we were getting into. We checked in at the office. Each plane carried 10 passengers including the pilot. There had to be an even number of passengers on each side of the plane, I guess to keep the plane from tipping over. The check-in girl said, “How much do you weigh?” I gave her a number. Then she said, “How much does your wife weigh?” Lisa was across the room talking with some friends. “Hey, Lisa!” I yelled. “How much do you weigh?” As the final word came out of my mouth, I realized my blunder. She looked up and glared at me. I just made up a number and hoped nobody else had heard. If our plane went down due to a few pounds of underreported weight, I would take the blame.

As we were walking to our plane, I saw a young guy dressed in work clothes and cowboy boots heading toward the plane. It looked like he could have been in high school. He had a large backpack on his back. “Are you the pilot?” I asked.

“Yes, sir,” he said.

Trying to be funny, I said, “Is that a parachute on your back? And if so, why are you the only one that has one?”

He laughed and said, “Actually it’s my lunch.”

“You guys ever had a plane go down?” I said.

“Not yet,” he answered.

We boarded the plane, squeezed into our seats and strapped ourselves in. The float planes are single engine machines without much complicated equipment. Basically, there’s a throttle, flaps and tail controls and a steering column. Our pilot fired up the engine and off we went. We only needed 100 yards of water runway before we were skyward, flying over the four large cruise ships in the harbor. We were finally headed to Taku Lodge! Huzzah!

The flight took about 30 minutes. We crossed the harbor and headed toward the mountains that were still covered with snow. Our pilot told us a few things and then turned on a recorded guide that explained the history of the area. Each of us had headphones to be able to hear above the roar of the engine. We soared over five different glaciers that have been slowly creeping down the mountains over the centuries. One glacier had just calved a huge chunk of ice revealing a deep blue coloring underneath the dirty snow. The scenery was stunning! We finally saw the Taku Lodge and circled in for a smooth landing.

There were people coming and going. Our group of 30 gathered inside the lodge for a welcome from the lodge director and then we had an hour to look around before lunch.

There was a huge grill next to the lodge, manned by a native Alaskan. He was grilling fresh salmon while telling bear stories to anybody that wanted to listen. There were hiking trails and a small gift shop to roam through. The only negative was the fact that the mosquitos were terrible. They were as big as hummingbirds and were after everybody. And my friend Allen lost his right hand fooling around with an old bear trap.

Finally the host rang a large dinner bell and we headed into the lodge for lunch. The woman in charge told us the history of Taku Lodge (I’ll spare you the details) and explained the menu. We had salmon grilled over hickory logs and dressed with a molasses marinade, baked beans with pork belly, cole slaw, warm cinnamon apples, sourdough bread and the famous rosemary biscuits fresh out of the oven. The food was excellent and our table of eight grew silent as we wolfed down our chow. After lunch the host brought out plates of the ginger snap cookies we had heard so much about. Our plate of cookies went around the table. When it got back to the start there were two left. Somebody said, “Anyone want these last two cookies?”

Without hesitation Lisa said, “I’ll take 'em! I’ve been waiting 25 years for these cookies!”

We left completely satiated and headed back to the float planes. The pilot let me sit up front with him on the flight back so I got to watch him operate the plane. After a smooth flight back, we dropped down into the harbor and coasted to the dock. It was a memorable excursion and worth every penny.

That night after dinner we ran into some friends from Miami. “What did you guys do today?” we asked.

The woman did not look happy. She said, “Our friends booked an excursion for a bunch of us. Guess where we went? We rode in a rickety old school bus out into the middle of the woods for some cheapo salmon bake!”

“But, hey!” her husband said.  “It only cost $75!”

The monkey that had been on my back jumped onto his.